If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
