I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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