Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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