Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
