would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
