do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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