Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
