he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
