whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
