i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
