yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
