I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
