Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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