sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
