So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So squirting runs in the family.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
