he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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