summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
