I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
