Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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