Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
