remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
