im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize