She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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