I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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