And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
