He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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