Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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