So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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