By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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