make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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