If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I miss vodka workout Fridays
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
