Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
