sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
