so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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