I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
