Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
