Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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