ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
