My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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