just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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