just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
