i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
