It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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