We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
