If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
