Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
