I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize