So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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