She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
