the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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