We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
