remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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