my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
