Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
