remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
