It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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