You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
