i barfeds in our rink
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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