i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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