Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
