remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
