In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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