Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
