One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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