i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
