hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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